This weekend I've had to research, phone call, paperwork, and drive around to work on the nitty gritty parts of getting ready for marriage. Insurance being one of those things ;) And yes! The first thought was overwhelming. Where do I start? What if I pick the wrong thing? Help!
And of course, Jacob has been part of this process, too. Phone calls and texts and "what do you think?" and all that jazz for all these different, new questions we must deal with.
Our situation feels twice as tricky, given that the first 9 months of marriage we will be in 3 different states, essentially. Yep. Hardcore parkour. And no. Not just for insurance.
Throughout these many topics and conversations, Jacob and I had the chance to get really depressed. Or mad at each other. Or both maybe! But whenever things got tough to figure out, or we just didn't know what to choose or do or decide, we would go back to praying, laugh about it, and move on. In fact, this mentality lead to treating even the smallest victories with some pretty wild hooting and hollering. Which to me, is how it should be. Everything should be treated like that, right? Happy. Optimistic. Or at least, I think so!
Have there been times when I've gotten frustrated to the point of tears? Of course. I've been confused and upset. But I refuse to let it become negative.
I've been told that once marriage actually starts, I'll have to get past this and realize life is hard. And things are hard. And I just need to wait until the real world sinks in, along with all of it's real world problems. You know. Cars breaking down. Appliances falling apart. No paychecks. People vomiting. That sort of stuff, I suppose.
What's with the whole, 'wait till the real world sinks in' mentality?
I'm not advocating rose colored glasses. I'm advocating optimism. Especially now that I'm only 78 days away from marriage. And yes, my heart just leapt with joy at typing at that. Only 78 days!
Since when did being an optimist go out of style? Sure, we're happy... when things are going our way. Or when things are worth being happy about. But being an optimist only when you're happy and comfortable isn't being an optimist. Dictionary.com defines optimism as "a disposition or tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome."
Optimism really counts when life stinks. Optimism really counts when everyone else tells you that you there are so many things to be discouraged about, but you continue to hold a positive outlook.
I'm not recommending being an airhead. Because the truth is, the 'real world' does stink. I'd go so far as to say it sucks. There are unfair happenings every second, someone is sick, someone is on the verge of bankruptcy, someone just lost a loved one, someone is fighting a war, someone got divorced, someone broke down and got hooked on an addiction, someone is battling depression, and on and on it goes. The real world is a pit of sinners fully embracing their nature, sinners trying to be saints, and sinners that don't care either way.
The 'real world' is not our home. And that is why I refuse to live here.
I mean. Well. Yes, I do have to live here, but not the way everyone else does. And neither do you. Colassians 3:2, "Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are upon the earth."
But how often do we come face to face with the 'real world' and suddenly, all we can think about is how large and scary it really is? We are overwhelmed with a sense of despair, because well, this is just how things are. And as part of the system, we must do our part, drag our feet, and go along with it.
Or must we?
Why do we forget that our citizenship is in heaven? That our minds, our hearts, and our outlook should reflect the fact that God is watching over us every second of our existence. Psalm 121:1-2, "I will lift my eyes to the hills, from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."
Further in verses 7-8, we read, "The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; he shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in, from this time forth, and even forevermore."
Why am I an optimist? Why do I refuse to live in the 'real world'?
Because this world is not my home.
Yes, there are hard times. Yes, there are things that wear us down, things that aren't any fun, things that are downright terrifying to a 20 year old, almost married person. This world, however beautiful, is a fallen world that can be awfully scary at times.
But it also a world that we do not have to walk through alone.
What are your thoughts?
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