That being said, if you have not received the questionnaire, let me fill you in as to what this whole thing is about.
The first 12 pages were dedicated to 'Famous 80's Film Moments', 'What Would Mikey REALLY Eat', and 'Jingles That Should Never Have Been Aired'. The final 3 pages, however, were dedicated to 'What Do You Think About the First 20 Days After Your Wedding Feels Like', or 'WDYTATF13DAYWFL' (this is not your wifi password), or also known as "Whadyafiedaywiffle'.
I know. Now that you are aware of what you've missed, both Jacob and I (yes, he's helping out today!) are here to fill you in. Well. About the whole 20 days after the wedding thing. Not the poorly aired jingles and Mikey. You'll have to wait until next month's questionnaire to jump in for that sort of stuff.
Are you ready? Here's some insight on the first almost three weeks of marriage! You'll see our answers, along with the general consensus of the questionnaired (I made that word up), both married, unmarried, cave dwelling, obsessive compulsive, etc and etc. Basically, people that have been there and done that, and people that were completely guessing. Here we go!
What are some things things that are exactly as you'd expected?
Beth: Having Jacob with me all the time, eating together, figuring out life, laundry, stealing his socks, wearing all his clothes, planning, praying together... it's all a very generous gift from God that I don't deserve.
Jacob: Every day life is exactly as I would expect it. Excitement and laughs- life peppered with kisses turns simple and usually boring things into amazing things.
The General Public: Most of you said that you expected food to taste the same, slumber parties to skyrocket, and that morning breath is morning breath.
What is something better than you thought it would be?
Beth: Saying goodnight and being under the same sheets for sleeping and snuggles is fantastic. Waking up and spending everyday with someone like Jacob is perfect. That's all.
Jacob: Hm. Kissing.
The General Public: Almost all of you agreed that the answer to this one was the fact that you could stop dieting to fit into the wedding dress, and/or finally being able to admit your obsession with Cartoon Network and realizing that your spouse also loves watching Ben Ten Alien Force with gusto (we thought this was a little creepy, but heck, you guys wrote this).
What is something about marriage that is amazing that you didn't even think about?
Beth: What's amazing about marriage is seeing someone else doing so many things for you when you don't deserve it, when you don't even know why they would want to be so caring for you, and when you know they don't even have to do all those wonderful little things. There's literally nothing in it for them, yet they do it for you. Being part of that is unbelievable. Jacob and I were house sitting in NH until October 30th when we left for our place in NC- a huge blessing. However, we encountered many strange things, mainly flocks of pine bugs and other buggies, all of which Jacob valiantly spent hours (literally) exterminating for my sake. It's things like that (oh, and taping the whole thing was an amazing thing as well).
Jacob: Driving. Between bad Google Map directions, missing roads, and rampant country radio stations we had the setting for some awful drives in the past few weeks. Long drives too, not your Grandpa's drive to the Convenience Store, Wal-Mart, the local drug dealer, or any other common destinations. These trips were beefy drives between states on backroads because apparently Yankees are a little slow on the idea of interstates and so-called swift travel. Anyways, these drives, despite conditions, were exciting, goofy, and rambunctious. But I always kept two hands on the wheel at the 9 and 11 position, kids. Really.
The General Public: You don't have to worry about wiping the orange powder of Doritos from the corners of your mouth anymore, because any good spouse will love you regardless. Or so they say.
Does marriage get better with time?
Beth: Absolutely. You get to know each other better, yet the more you know, the more you want to be their best friend.
Jacob: How the heck am I supposed to answer this question? I've been married for three weeks. Who came up with this question? Anyways, as far as I can tell, yes, it does. The spark keeps sparking brighter, the flame burns brighter, the hamstrings just keep getting swoler.
The General Public: Cheese does, so you all said something along the lines of, 'Yeah'.
Have you have the first fight yet?
Beth: Oh, if I had the extremities to count the times people have told us, 'don't think you won't fight!' before and after the wedding. No fighting to date, since June 2012. That's how it's going to stay!
Jacob: Unless Beth locking me outside just for kicks and my throwing a comb at her counts, no.
The General Public: Yes, you tell us. And over something stupid, but it's okay, because the make up afterwards is amazing. It's so good, kinda like enduring a long and sad BBC version of fill-in-the-blank movie: it's not so hot during the film, but afterwards, once you've regained consciousness, you realize you were a complete moron.
Does the excitement wear off (i.e. after the huge, crazy exciting glitzy wedding, does real life seem dull, boring, and unfulfilling)?
Beth: Not at all! The excitement of a wedding is greatly different from the excitement of shopping together, driving places, figuring out budgets, Psych marathons, growing up, and working out together. Real life is a great adventure and I'm beyond grateful God has granted me Jacob as my companion through it all.
Jacob: No it doesn't. I mean, some of the weirdness wears off (because, trust me, being fresh-married feels weird). She's still hot, I still am more suave than a bowl of dark chocolate syrup, so it stays special. But it takes some level of commitment. You can't just expect it to be like that- you have to make it be like that. If you aren't treating her like a queen (because princess is too mainstream), and if she isn't treating you like Hercules (A king is too mainstream, and Hercules massacred kings anyway. At least I am pretty sure he did.)
The General Public: You mostly agreed that yes, a little, but it depended on what- i.e., a lot of you said the excitement mostly wore off in such things as breathing, witnessing your spouse taking early morning medications, or shaving your legs in the presence of others (this was one the guys mentioned).
Have you noticed the other person's 'bad' habit that everyone warned you about?
Beth: Jacob likes to eat. A lot. It's cute and funny and I think it's hilarious. Jacob turns everything into a math problem. I think it's hot (and a little nerve-wracking when he makes me determine the cheapest corn chip out of 15 varieties in weight and price). Jacob takes every chance he can to hug me, kiss me, and follows me around constantly. It's endearing and perfect. So no. He has no bad habits. All good ones ;)
Jacob: Yep! When she sweats she smells like an onion, and it's nauseating. But after not allowing her to eat or sweat, and a few pressure washer sessions, she smells fine. Ha, just kidding. So food for thought, if she snores like a cannon, did it ever occur to you that perhaps you wearing socks with crocs makes her stomach turn? No? Why not? Point being, any habit (note, HABIT or lifestyle choice, NOT rage outbreaks, gossip addiction, or smoking bongs) that may be annoying is probably matched by an equally annoying habit of yours. Get over it, learn to ignore it, figure out how to fix it (muffler while sleeping, burn the crocs AND socks), or make fun of it (only half kidding here). Cinderella wouldn't divorce Prince Charming because he didn't wax his leg hair. Oh and the thing about Beth smelling like onions? It was a joke. Joke.
The General Public:
She- Yep, he sings loudly in the shower and sounds like a chainsaw rubbed against the biggest chalkboard in Utah.
He- Yep, she enjoys putting all things edible into giant food processors and turning it into a giant mass of green slime. What's more is that she expects me to eat this stuff, and claims that "you can't even taste the algae!"
What is something that you have learned that you didn't expect to?
Beth: I have learned how much I want to earn Jacob's respect. Even after marriage, I find myself constantly wishing I could be better for him. I have learned that this is not only okay, but wonderful. It means the chase is still afoot and I am still, constantly, and always pursuing his heart in all I do.
Jacob: That days go by faster as time goes by. Seriously, you blink and the day is gone. Make the most of every day (in a way that pleases God), but in the aspect of marriage, live every day like your spouse will be gone forever tomorrow.
The General Public: That patience is a virtue. Your patience will run out many, many times, but that's to be expected. All that matters is that life is a learning process, even if you are never even close to as patient as you should be. It's ok though, we're all sinners. Lack of love is to be expected, right?
What's something that you think will be timeless about marriage?
Beth: I will never tire of being kissed. There is something timeless about kisses, about saying 'I love you' at every chance, about confiding in the other person, and about treating life as an adventure. Bumbumbum... muffins.
Jacob: Beth's eyes. They're a really deep, dark brown with even darker swirls in it, and with a bluish/greenish outline. They can look like sparkly and bright one moment, and seductively dark the next. Bambi be jealous.
The General Public: The pile of dirty socks under the bed. The stuff on this said pile is definitely cat hair and NOT fungus.
What's something that is temporary (for good or bad)?
Beth: The first almost 2 weeks of our marriage has been spent in multiple locations. After our honeymoon, we've been house sitting (as mentioned), packing up my stuff from my parents' house, teaching some, resting some, driving a lot, catching up with people before we left NH, and trying to figure out all those newly married things. It's been a lot emotionally and physically, but it is temporary. And in the end, it's both good and bad, really. Bad because I'd be lying if I didn't say it was hard, but good because God is turning these circumstances into a lovely story.
Jacob: The hectic travel and life schedule. Between Thomas Edison State College being a total word-I-shouldn't-say and job insanity for both Beth and me, life won't be calm for a good long while. Now? We must take this like a learning experience. However, this is no endurance race- we will sprint to the end, even if that seems impossible. You don't grow by lowering the bar.
The General Public: The excitement and newness of marriage. Most experts agree that within two weeks you will be back to scratching your extremities (TOES AND FINGERS, keep it clean, people) and stalking around murmuring at each other. Trust me, love is SO much deeper when you are bored with each other, and comfortable with being in a brother and sister relationship. Although it may seem creepy to be sleeping with a surrogate sibling, it all works out in the end.
Thank you for taking the time to read all this. We fully expect nostrils to flair and lawsuits to be lawsuited.
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