Part Fourteen: Of Parking Lots, Jingle Bells, and a First Dance

"Raise my hands
paint my spirit gold
bow my head
keep my heart slow

cause I will wait, I will wait for you..."

-Mumford and Sons

We pulled in. They pulled in. I couldn't even look. I knew he was there, he was right there. All I wanted to do was...

"BEEEETTH! Get out of the car! Get out! What are you doing!?"

"I can't! I CAN'T PUT MY SHOES ON!"

Honestly. I couldn't. I couldn't humanly get my slides on my feet. No laces. No straps. No nothing. I couldn't do it. I couldn't hear anything, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think straight. It was a feeling I cannot even begin to replicate. I would suggest it is something like a heart attack, seizure, and vertigo all at once. Not that I've suffered any of the previous, but... I can imagine. (Afterwards, my mom was telling me about this first meeting and how I was so out of it. I agreed, because well, I didn't recall any of the things she told me. Just goes to show how out of it I was!)

I gave up on the shoes entirely. I didn't care. I left one shoe in the car and threw the other on the pavement. I don't remember anything other than 2 seconds later he was right in front of me. It was him. He was here. I was here. I ran, I shrieked, and I jumped in his arms. 

Literally. I jumped on him. My hair was a wild tangle of airplane curls. I was pressed so tightly to him that I could barely breathe.

I closed my eyes as he spun me around. Even when he put me down, the world around me was still spinning. My heart was spinning. Everything was out of control.

It didn't matter.

I couldn't see my mom, my sisters, or Aubrey. I couldn't see them watching this first meeting that had been planned for years, decades, and centuries before either he or I had been born. I couldn't open my eyes. I didn't want to see anything, think anything, or do anything else.

All I could see was him.

I could hear him whisper into my hair, but everything else around me had completely been silenced by everything wonderful that he was.

"Oh Beth..."

"You're real, you're really real," I gasped without letting go for a second. 

If we said anything else, it wasn't registering. All that really made any sense to me in this moment was just how close he was. He was holding onto me. I was holding onto him. Me, the anti-hugging person was clinging for dear life to this guy in front of me without any hopes of letting go. My face was buried in his shoulder. My heart was leaping out of my chest. 

It was the first time, but it felt like I'd known him forever. He was so perfect, so so perfect. I couldn't even go into specifics. All I knew was this boy in front of me was irresistibly, entirely, and completely real... and we were holding onto each other. Yes, it was in a parking lot. Yes, I was barefoot, in sweatpants, and generally lacking makeup and currently fashioning a nonexistent hairstyle. 

It didn't matter.

All too soon, the hug ended. I ran over to Aubrey and hugged her. Nervous and excited talking. More hugs. Smiles the size of Manhattan. Staring unashamedly because the guy in front of me was too real to be true.

"You see those hills over there?" I said rather unexpectedly, pointing to some slopes behind the gas station. "Wanna go roll down those hills?"

"Let's do it," he responded without missing a beat.

I grinned larger than my face allowed and took off in a sprint for the hill, Aubrey, Becki, Lydia, and Jacob in tow.

The closer I got to the hill, the more I realized this hill wasn't a nice grassy hill as it had appeared. It was a rocky, lumpy, dirty, wood chip-py hill. Oh dear. Oh well.

"Are you gonna do it or not?" He asked as I looked down the hill tentatively. 

"Yes!"

"Then do it, or I'll push you!"

With that final threat, I tumbled down the hill feeling every rock and wood chip along the way. It was worth it.

"Aubrey, do it! ROLL DOWN THE HILL! Do it," I laughed.

Aubrey looked positively terrified at the notion, but a few more promptings and she went down with out too many complaints. Jacob followed in a dignified way (as in, he didn't really roll down the hill, but no one argued. I was too happy to notice much!).

We all trooped back to the parking lot a bit dirtier than before, but smiling. I grabbed my shoes and jumped into the van (which shall be known as the ironvan from now on). It was time to head to the cabin and drop everything off before we met the rest of the Cliftons. I couldn't believe I was actually in this van. Right now. Let the frantic, happy, sporadic breathing continue.

As we pulled out of the parking lot. I let my eyes widen at the unknown around me.

"This just... feels so weird. It doesn't feel real," I marveled.

We all joked around for a minute, but it grew quiet soon after. I looked at Jacob. He looked at me.

"Okay, nope, we're going for it," he remarked without a care, "we're going for the hand hold riiiiiight now."

Aubrey snorted from the back, but I didn't really care if she snorted or sneezed. I didn't care if she slapped me for grabbing Jacob's hand (which she did).

My hand was in his. Fingers laced together, next to mine. I had waited so long for this moment and now that it was here... it felt perfect. Something so simple felt so amazing and wonderful and natural. It felt like something I should've done years ago. Oh Lordy, I loved every second. I had only just met him, but we were already connected in so many ways.

From the backseat, Aubrey was manning Jacob's phone and texting/calling everyone she could think of to announce my arrival. We called people. We laughed. I tried to point out a paddidle, but neither Jacob nor Aubrey knew what a padiddle was. We blabbered on and on in complete nonsense. I squeezed his hand just to make sure he was real. 

Oh, but he was so real.

"Oh my gosh, I forgot your mom was following us," he laughed somewhat nervously. I immediately teased him for his lack of attention.

I loved how his eyes danced when he smiled. I loved the way he looked when he was laughing over the littlest things.

I stared out the side window, never once letting go of his hand. I would look over my shoulder, down my arm, and see his hand still holding mine. The reality of this was too much. It was too perfect. It was...

And I would look at him and he would catch my stare. Those crazy, tangled eyes full of light and color would catch my stare. I couldn't help but wonder how I'd gone so long without ordinary moments like this. Me and him. Just a car and a winding road and a wild younger sister in the backseat. It wasn't anything wonderfully special I guess... but it was all I wanted.

Sooner than I expected, we pulled up to the cabin. After carrying loads of traveling bags, cases, and a few finds from Walmart, we piled back into the cars once again to drive over to the Clifton's. Hands locked together once again, we talked about absolutely nothing and everything as the miles rolled on until we'd made our way to a house I'd been dying to see for so long.

"I've mailed a few bandanas to this house," I remarked with a smirk.

When the car came to a halt, we did a countdown to let go of our handhold.

"You guys are so weird," Aubrey muttered, but Jacob and I only laughed and continued to count until we finally let go.

It felt like I was walking into a picture. Everything was so perfect. I keep using that word over and over, but there isn't a word that describes it quite as well.

The front door opened and there was Will, doing what appeared to be a well rehearsed, flourishing bow. I grinned at his sheepish expression and promptly shook his outstretched hand with vigor. Jimmy wasn't far behind, but a good deal less social at the moment. I would get that to change, that was a promise.

The next 5 minutes went by rather quickly as I tried to understand just what was going on. All these people I'd seen in pictures... were real people. It sounds silly, but when you've lived in a digital world for so long, real people are a bit more real than normal. Maybe that's a good thing. I can't imagine being more grateful for real people than I was in that moment. 

Between Mr. and Mrs. Clifton giving their welcome and little Melody jumping in my arms and giving her completely approval of my arrival, I felt like a button in a button hole. This was a home away from home... and I had only just showed up on the scene. 

The evening passed by with a tour of the house (during which Mr. Clifton frequently commented on Jacob's very apparent, excited, and hyper behavior. No idea why), kids climbing all over me, and a wild dinner during which Jacob and I ended up sitting at the kids' table conversing about the Avengers with 8 year old Thomas and 10 year old Charity. It was so simple and plain, but it was beautiful to me. I tried my best to eat, but I was far too busy soaking up the fact that I was really here. I was really, really here.

After pecking over my dinner, we all went downstairs to the family room to hang out and generally cause a ruckus. Jacob attempted to lead the room in a serenade of Jingle Bells. This worked only to a certain degree. While those under 13 seemed a bit more zealous to the idea, Aubrey, Becki, Jimmy, and myself all cringed. After a few more failed serenade attempts, lots of smirks, and a few choruses of 'Hey There Delilah', the guitar got put to the side and the onslaught of 'watch my talents!' began.

Lydia showed Jacob how to breakfall, do pushups, and other various activities from the dojo. Becki requested a handstand from Jacob. Jimmy learned some hu bud techniques from me. And of course, I gave a martial arts demonstration using Becki as the dummy. I showed a basic shirt grab escape, then a hip toss. The latter was used to toss many a sibling as the feeling of flying through the air became a highlight of the evening.

Last put not least, I pulled out the knife technique demonstration. I handed Jacob a pen and asked him to attack me however he wanted to. Needless to say, the first attempt was an utter failure on my part, mostly due to my wrist being injured, but partly due to the fact that I wasn't paying any attention. However, on the second go, Jacob came in with an overhead knife strike and I tossed him perfectly. With the stamp of legit-ness, we decided to back away from martial arts demo and went back to casual conversation.

"Hey, let's dance."

"What? No, no no no..."

But unfortunately for me my heart melted a little bit when he grabbed my hand. I was helpless to resist and followed him to the floor.

"I can't dance," I said with a bit of a blush. Oh, I do hate how easily I blush. I had known he was going to ask me to dance. I had known it since we first planned this trip. I couldn't put off the inevitable. Oh dear.

He said to follow him. I mumbled something about being a slow learner. I complained that I was going to be terrible. He didn't listen. He just simply showed me. Every single transition, every single step I felt like I was horribly out of time, but he assured me I was doing fine. In fact, he said he was quite surprised at how well I was doing. He said that I was rivaling Aubrey who danced with him since forever. I guess I could be proud of that.

My, but it felt funny to be dancing with him. Not funny in a bad way, but funny in a 'I've never danced with anyone and here I am dancing rather close with this guy I just met but really like' way. It felt perfectly natural, but perfectly strange at the same time. I wasn't sure what else to do but to follow his lead. I'm surprised I could even do that as my mind was lost in the moment.

"No, don't just let go, let your hands drop like this," he instructed as he guided my fingers up over his head, past his neck, down his shoulders, and back to his hands.

I nodded and tried to do exactly as he showed. Just as my fingers slide down and back to his hands, our eyes met.

"Yeah, just like that," he said with a smile.

We kept at it, me interjecting with nervous silly comments, nervous silly faces, and nervous silly laughs. I didn't think I would ever say it, but I liked it. I liked it so much. I liked my hands in his. I liked coming off a spin and ending right next to him. I liked how my eyes would meet his and though we would say nothing, our eyes said so, so much. I liked my fingers up and over his head, running down his neck and back to his again. I liked how he didn't make fun of my fluttering stares, my lack of ability to say anything intelligent, or my clumsy feet.

I guess you could call it magical. I'm forever going to call it unforgettable.