I'm not talking cakes and thickness of batter. I'm not even talking thickness of skulls. However, thickness of skulls DOES have something to do with all this. Let me explain.
Consistency. Where is it? Do you believe in it when it comes to relationships? We start off relationships with butterflies in the stomach, texting every 2 minutes, phone calls whenever possible, sweet nothings, and any possible way to make the other person smile.
We want to consistently make the relationship a wonderland for the other person.
When I first started talking to Jacob, I would cut time out of my day to send him special messages, talk to him whenever possible, and in any way I could, I would try to do my best for him. It's not always easy from a thousand miles away!
That was back in June 2012. Nowadays, things are busier. Jacob is up to his neck is school, I'm planning a wedding/packing/teaching/training for competitions, and of course, regular life is always going on. There have been days this past week that I've barely gotten to talk to Jacob due to his school schedule. We're both tired and trying to get things together before 85 days- which I'm so excited about! But still. it's not always convenient to do those little things that make a spark. However, Jacob and I are determined to never let those little things die out.
What little things? Well.
It's not always convenient to stay up until 12am simply because that's the only time I can actually talk to Jacob.
It's not always convenient to try and read into what the other person says simply because you know deep down they need encouragement. It would be easier to just pretend you didn't notice the slight changes in mannerisms that gives away something is amiss.
It's not always convenient to send a special text or email or voicemail when you know the other person has a big, important test/day/school project/work project that day.
It's not always convenient to talk through important issues when you feel worn out, tired, or simply just don't feel like talking.
It's not always convenient to hold hands (i.e. 2 hour drives to and from airports in a huge van with awkwardly distant seating).
It's not always convenient to buy her flowers.
It's not always convenient to open the door for her.
It's not always convenient to sincerely remind him how important he is and how what he does is incredibly valuable.
Do you get the idea? It's not always convenient. And if you have kids, a busy work schedule, a hectic lifestyle, a strained relationship due to distance, finances, stresses, etc etc, it can be even harder.
But wait. Wasn't the word of the day consistency? Hold on! I'm getting there!
If it was easy, everyone would do it. Consistency wouldn't be an issue, because these things that aren't always convenient would practically do themselves.
And that's what I'm getting to.
Consistency isn't always convenient... depending on how you look at things.
HOWEVER. If you view things from the other person's perspective as constantly as you view things from your perspective, you will no longer look at things in terms of convenience.
Selfishness is a blinder to our true potential in terms of how we can honor, respect, and encourage our spouse/future spouse/significant other.
If you're only focusing on how buying flowers for her affects your wallet and your schedule, then your selfishness has blinded you in your mission to make her your princess, best friend, and teammate.
If you can't manage to tell him in the truest, most powerful words possible that you are incredibly grateful for his work ethic, his accomplishments, and his loyal dedication to you, simply because you're 'too tired' from your day, then your selfishness has blinded you in your mission to make him your hero, your best friend, and your teammate.
In marriage especially, this other person is an extension of yourself. Selfishness should not be on the table, because this is YOU, we are talking about.
If you have kids? That's not something that should affect consistently showing and giving your best.
If you have financial instability? Consistency in appreciation/romance/humility shouldn't be affected.
If you're both super busy and things are stressful? All the more reason to be consistent in bringing glory to God through your actions and interactions.
The old fashioned romance, the butterflies, the gestures of undying love, the simple nothings and everything that made you both fall in love with each other- don't let these things die. Don't settle for the mediocrity of a marriage with a business mentality. This isn't a business operation you are running. This is a passionate romance for both your other half and for the glory of God.
I don't speak of this because I've been married for 50 years. I don't speak of this because I've had the experience. I speak of this because I've seen married couples let the things that brought them together, the excitement, fun, and wonderstruck shivers melt away.
As a God ordained institution, should marriage reflect our character and Christianity in the utmost?
Consistency. Passion in our mission. Be called to be different for the better.
12 Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.
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