May 2, 2014

"You're Doing WHAT?" // Why We're Getting Married Young

Do you remember having a best friend as a little kid? Maybe when you were in middle school or high school. Maybe, you're still friends to this day! Maybe you found a best friend as a grown up.

Marriage is finding a best friend for life. You get to do all the things best friends do- be ridiculous together, be happy together, be sad together, plot together, know each other inside and out. But marriage is best friends to another level.

The level of friendship found in marriage surpasses any other. Marriage is a friendship so strong that you actually integrate yourself with your best friend.






You have sleepovers every night. 

You burn (and sometimes don't burn) food together- and end up eating it anyway, because you both think burned food isn't as bad as they say.


You plan and accomplish things as a team- and if you're like a certain couple I know very well, you're fairly competitive and turn such things into a game ;)


You face the good, the bad, and the ugly together. You cheer each other up and encourage each other to keep going when things aren't all blue skies.


You make fun of each other shamelessly. Well. Some of us do anyways ;)


You learn more and more with each day. Together.


You crank up those favorite songs and sing along to that jam like two high school girls.


You back each other up.


You have movie marathons.


You have inside jokes.


You share finances.


You share a home.


You share a life.


Heck, you'll probably share tissues and spoons and shoes, and many other things, for sure.

Is it always easy? No. I'm not married and I could tell you that. But if marriage is about dedication to another person, if marriage is about finding and staying with a best friend forever, if marriage is about building a life with someone you respect and look to as an equal, then here comes the important question:

Why not get married young?

And the room gets quiet.


What did she say? But don't you want to party? Don't you want to build a career? Don't you want to get out there and experience life? Don't you want to get out and experience life on your own? There's no way you're mature enough for something like that! How old are you???

No, I don't want to party. Neither does he.


Build a career? I'm pretty sure I'm right where I want to be with my career. He's building his career up as well. Besides, how exciting is it to continue to discover and work on your career with your best friend besides you?

Experience life? I'm doing that right now. And by getting married young, I get to experience that much more life with my best friend beside me!

There's no way I'm mature enough? I've finished college. I've got a steady career path. I'm financially stable. I know what I want in life. He's got a steady career path. He's financially stable. He's finishing his degree this summer. We both know what we want in life and we want to be together through it all.

How old am I? I'm old enough to know that everyone makes mistakes, including me and including him.  I'm old enough to know that marriage isn't going to fix all my woes, but it WILL mean having someone I PICKED OUT as my best friend with me through thick and thin. I'm old enough to know that having a best friend is one of God's greatest gifts to us little people.

And that's why we got engaged young. That's why we're having a short engagement and getting right to it- because if you know what you want and what is right, chase it down!

I want my best friend with me through it all. Being in a long distance relationship has taught me to cherish the moments... and every moment I can get with Jacob I will take!


It's not about being 'old enough'. It's about maturity and character. It's about trust and passion to build something special and long lasting together. it's about making every day an adventure worth retelling every night.

Questions? Comments? Fiery dispute?

Let's hear it!


5 comments:

  1. hey, how'd you get so smart? did you secretly pay some 45-year-old who has been married for 25 years to write this? if not, I think you got this marriage thing in the bag, smarty pants :]

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  2. FIST PUMP!!!!! HOLLAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

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  3. @Kathleen- I secretly paid a 44 year old ;) But no no! I've simply been given good advice and a very big sense of ambition! I'm excited and determined, but at the same time trying to be mindful, for sure :)

    @Lani- That comment made me not only laugh, but smile very much. I'm going to steal your enthusiasm ;)

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  4. "It's not about being 'old enough'. It's about maturity and character. It's about trust and passion to build something special and long lasting together. it's about making every day an adventure worth retelling every night."

    I would add one thing to that - more than all of those, it's about commitment. The #1 cause of marriage failure (whether divorce or misery together) is lack of commitment to making it work - plain and simple. It's not communication or finances or anything like that - those are symptoms of the lack of commitment. No relationship survives based on butterflies-in-stomach and kisses alone - they all require commitment to make happen. And if you can commit yourself to being committed forever, then you've got the only thing that is really required. In 10 years, you don't need to question whether you knew enough about Jacob or about life; you only need to remain committed to your commitment.

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