I want to go into full detail about Jacob's whole trip to NH for the first time, but I'm beginning to realize the complete enormity of such a task, considering how frequently we try to meet up and how much we cram pack into each adventure- full documentation of each adventure is slightly unrealistic. Instead, allow me to recap just some of the things that happened:
-Jacob got that surprise 'hang out with my father' on the first full day of his visit. Oh goody goody for him! Torture of the NC boy= my father's favorite thing.
-We went to the lake more than once, though Jacob and I both considered the water not worthy to swim in. I also like to think I got tan.
-We watched some of Mr. Clifton's home movies on our computer. Such good embarrassment for poor Jacob.
-A workout date was the best kind of date- burpees, front squats, and pull ups are so good for bonding.
-Tim had a playoff game that we attended together. Jacob got a tick, but nothing else exciting. Home again home again after a long and fun day :) And yes, as you can see from the second picture, Mr. Clifton was thoroughly enjoying his stay in NH.
-I got sick-ish Saturday night and Jacob was very concerned about this. I would have enjoyed how cute he was about the whole thing had I felt better. It carried on into Sunday morning, so I was stuck at home and unable to go to church, but Jacob fussed over me a good deal. Very cute, once again. Jacob and I ran out to a Walmart Sunday night to get stuff for his father who was also sick, but much worse off that I was. That was an adventure. To say the least.
-On Monday, Jacob came with me to work which was a wonderful change of pace. Just having him at work with me was... amazing. Work didn't feel like work when I had that cute face grinning at me from across the desk.
-Monday night we had a dance party at about 11pm. In the kitchen. There's no better way to say goodbye!
What else do I remember? I remember it was insanely hot- 90 degrees. No, it's not that 90 degrees is overly hot, I suppose. It's more a matter of NH had yet to get any heat waves and I was horrified to find out the first scorcher would be the exact weekend of Jacob's visit.
There were car rides, there were dances in the kitchen and the backyard, there was holding hands, there was a visit to Kaitie's house (and the burned bacon, the Ironman 3 viewing, the driving Jacob back to the hotel very late), there were 'dinner dates' of scrambled eggs, and there was snuggling close on the couch for no reason at all. I remember crying my eyes out driving home from Hampton Inn listening to 'Use Somebody' after getting home after 1am the night before Jacob would head back to NC. I remember waking up the next morning at 6am to get ready to teach a bootcamp that I really, really didn't feel like teaching. I remember Jacob and his dad coming to the dojo to say a second and final goodbye.
I remember nothing and everything. I remember things that shouldn't matter.
The weird noises Jacob makes on a regular basis. The constant dancing. The grin Jacob would always have when he looked at me. The battles I suffered when trying to decide what to wear. The torture my sister made me endure when she proceeded to embarrass the snot out of me by playing cassette tapes of me as a wild 7 year old. The realization that Jacob and I didn't like 'fighting' each other. The realization that I was becoming more and more of a clingy person- especially around Jacob. Who would have guessed!
It took me by surprise. It really did. The whole thing flew by so quickly. And before I knew it, I was on another countdown for Jacob to see me again. Again.
And goodness, I didn't like it. At all. I didn't like it at all. I was back to crying and sniffling and wondering why on earth I had to endure pain like this (clearly, I've not experienced some of the more delightful forms of pain, such as childbirth and giving a feline a bath). What could I do?
Days went by like this. I was beginning to feel like Jacob was the stuffed animal to my inner small child. Both times he got taken away from me, I became unstable, emotional, and unable to focus for at least a week to two weeks after the departure. It felt wrong, undoable, and I didn't like feeling like such a burden to the guy I loved so much.
After one night in which I had endured yet another full day of too many sniffles and lamenting my situation, Jacob's mother gave me some good advice: if this was where Jacob and I were in our relationship, then this is where I needed to be happy. I didn't have to be happy happy about it, but I needed to be happy about what God had given me and I needed to be happy about where I was going. I needed to be happy about the fact that a powerful God was bringing our story closer and closer to the next chapter.
Goodness. I love his mother. Text conversations with her make me feel like I'm talking to a second mother I never knew about.
And she was right. If I loved Jacob, I would pray for him, pray for us. If I loved him, I would fill his days with sunshine and honest joy. If I loved him, my struggles would be open for him to know about, but they would be faced with hope and optimism in our savior as opposed to negative attitude and uncertain dismal spirit.
It was a little bit of an awakening. I was just as depressed over Jacob not being with me, but I knew what I had to do when I was in the in between time. I knew what I had to do. I had to remember what I was headed towards. If I did that, I had no reason to be afraid, to be lonely, or to be upset.
It was just about that time that Jacob and I finalized what would secure a little more hope in my proverbial pocket. Jacob and I scheduled trip #3! Before I knew it, I would get him back. And this time, Aubrey was coming, too! July 24th was the magic day that would kick off a magic week. A whole. Week. I was going to get Jacob for a whole week! I was stoked, impatient, and wild to see my friend of boy again.
He was coming back. It was official. Little did I know, however, just how soon this third trip would sneak up on me. Little did I know what a sneaky friend of boy I had. Little did I know just how different this third trip would be. Little did I know what God was about to do.
And even as I sit here I typing this, I still don't know why. Yet, even if I never find out the reason why for so many of these things, I trust. I trust. I love. And everything else I leave to God.
Trip #3 would be filled with growing pains, big smiles, lots of tears, and some surprises, but it was going to be worth every penny I'd saved to date.
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