Philippians, Peanut Butter, and Other Ways We Stay Sane, Pt. 1

Do we look sane? 

One of the most popular questions I've been asked follows the patterns of: "How do you stay sane living in a long distance relationship?"

I'm always tempted to say, "Do we look sane?"

But then I remember I want to have at least a few friends, so I zip it.

I'm then tempted to say, "I yell at Jacob a lot, get mad at him, stop missing him, and console myself with a large dose of happy solitude."

But then I realize that statement makes little to no sense, both in syntax, meaning, and... well. Yeah.

Maybe I should go back with the insanity theory? Ah, no.

Let's make a list, since that's what cultured people do. 

How do we stay sane?

-We work out. Yes. we're workout junkies to begin with, so maybe that's why this one works so well. It's something we're comfortable with, something that is like therapy. Plus, what's the bad part of doing a few burpees? Oh. Right. You smell sweaty. Well. Besides that.

-We make routines and schedules and STICK TO THEM. Don't just sit around and mope, or guess what? All you will have to look back on is... sitting back and moping. Get out. Sign up. Do stuff. Don't overwork or over commit, but remember to bloom where you are planted.

-Read your Bible. Or if I was hip, maybe I should say get in da wooooord man! But I'm not hip. So I repeat: read your Bible. For me, it's Psalms. Philippians. Proverbs. The gospels. But hey! I'm not God- he'll lead you to the verses you need most.

-This goes with the last one a bit, but pray. And no, don't just pray for the distance to close. Pray for the future. Pray for the other person in a mature, Christian way. Don't simply pray that you see them soon. Pray for spiritual guidance, for growth mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Pray that they honor God, pray that God takes care of them and their family.

-Peanut Butter is mine. It would be Jacob's if he could only eat it. But find something non-addictive and preferably lacking in white grain or sugar that you can eat after doing all those therapy burpees.

-Find a good support system. Be it your friends, parents, church, or all the above, find those who can help you get back up when you feel down in the dumps. Sometimes, you need a good kick in the pants. Believe me, I teach martial arts.

Long distance wasn't my choice. 

Okay. So it was. But here's the kicker! All this talk of sanity and maintaining feelings and hope across the miles and you know what? In the end, we give our best. But ultimately, it is God who carries this story.

Part 2 coming ASAP!

The In Betweens: 7 Things I've Learned After 7 Trips

"Nobody here knocking at my door,

the sound of silence I can't take anymore..."

-Armin Van Buuren

Well. It's 7 trips later and I'm still learning things about patience. I'm learning a little about the TSA (not much, I'm not sure anyone will ever fully figure them out) and a lot about the kindness and understanding of those around me. 

I'm learning a lot about maturity and a lot more about getting back up once you hit the ground. Isn't that funny? I train these habits all the time in MMA, but sometimes the 'real life' version is so, so... so much harder. A few things I've learned:

1. I miss the weirdest things about being together. Mostly things like brushing our teeth together, or going out and shoveling at 7:30pm. Or even running to the grocery store to pick up stuff for my mom. Or car rides. Or washing dishes. Or the fact that neither of us can remember where our precious cell phones are during each trip.

2. Airports just aren't as vast and scary as they used to be. After layovers, cancelled flights, broken planes, walking out onto a very wet and very windy tarmac at 10pm, I don't mind twiddling my thumbs at the average flights.

3. Going to bed on time is very important. Essentially, I'm an old person who needs sleep- so therefore, I insist that everyone goes to bed early whenever a Clifton is over. I kid. Mostly. BUT. After about 6 trips, I learned that if you don't get enough sleep, the last few days of the trip are very, very rugged. As in everyone is mopey and too tired to do anything. Not good news.

4. Jacob eats like 3 small ponies. Just in case anyone was wondering. And no, he would probably disagree and say he eats like 4 large ponies. The funny thing is, he is such a good southerner with such good southern manners, he will never ask for anything. In fact, anytime I've ever asked Jacob if he's hungry, he politely responds, "I'm okay for right now!" To which I responded something along the lines of, "You've said that the whole trip. If that was really the case, you'd probably be dead right now."

Needless to say, I made him eat just about 24/7. In other news, donate now to the Small Pony Fund!

5. Working out together is so much fun. I love working out. I do. But when I'm tired or grumpy or generally being a pain, I would rather take a nap. However, having someone to smack and be smacked into gear is wonderful. That, and Jacob and I can be workout junkies to our hearts content.

6. Waking up is the most exciting thing in the world during trips. Knowing there is another day defying the distance is amazing. Knowing you have another whole day to do crazy stuff, normal stuff, boring stuff, ANYTHING... it's a wonderful feeling.

7. Goodbyes are very hard. Tears are not a sign of weakness. Drop off zones at airports are my least favorite place in the world. Returning rides to airports are accompanied by a feeling unlike any other. It's an empty, twisting fear that even though you've got plans to see that person again, what if you never do? Why are you consciously, purposely driving your favorite person away so that they will get on a plane and fly over a thousand miles further away? Yes. Goodbyes are very hard indeed.

I've learned a zillion other things. But the biggest thing I've learned, bigger than a list sort of thing, is that God knows how to make a sad and silly person like me grow mature. I'm a far cry from perfect, but when I think back to the person I was in 2012... well. There's a miracle for you ;)

Oh. And something else I miss and have learned about these trips: When you go to the library together, read books about domestic cats, divorce, death, and Joel Osteen. Yeah. We're both grown up, aren't we?

The real question is, what is next?