I'm still befuddled.
Anyway. Currently, I'm trying hard to think. The wedding. How do I describe it? How do I even write about something that still feels so surreal?
(Warning: 20.3 dozen and a half photos coming)
The morning of the wedding was probably one of the strangest experiences of my life. I mean, how many times in your life do you wake up and go, 'Oh hey! I'm getting married today!'
Not many. Ahem.
People look at you like you're going to pop or melt or both.
Prep. Prep was the name of the game. Prep is also the name of the game for all the zillion siblings we have collectively. I woke up around 7am, which was good, because things were already hopping. Note: my parents were the only ones up, but things were still hopping. Score on my parents being awesome and talented at running so much of the show.
My family, Jacob's family, and my mom's best friend and said best friend's daughter all made it to the Mill around 8:15am to set up, unload, decorate, iron, etc etc etc.
I was still dressed in my best friend's sweatpants and a t-shirt. With un-showered hair. With Adidas slides. In 40 degree weather.
Things moved pretty quickly, I suppose. The Mill is only 3-5 minutes from my house, so it was easy to make multiple trips to and from in setting up things.
I remember everyone asking me what I could do, how, where, what, when, etc etc. Example:
Dad: "Beth, what should I do?"
Me: (hands Dad a copy of Alice in Wonderland to be used for decor) "Read this. And smile. And make sure Caleb and Jimmy don't fall off the ladder."
By 9:35am I had to leave to shower and get my hair done for 10am. This was also to be the time that my dear, sweet friend Stacey (oh yes, and she's the best, most bombin' photographer we know) was to show up at my house to capture the 'pre-wedding' moments.
This necklace was a birthday present from Jacob, from the first year we spent our birthday(s) together in 2013. He sweated over trying to find a piece of jewelry that I would like enough to wear. Little did he know it would turn out to be the perfect thing to top off my wedding regalia :]
When I first talked to Shara (my stylist) about what I wanted for my hair, I told her I was going for a vintage, retro look to match the theme of our wedding: retro happy (yes, that's how I described our wedding theme). I wanted to look classy, but not in a 'strapless gown and tight prom curls' sort of what. I wanted to look modestly beautiful. I wanted to look wide eyed and innocent with a smidgen of flounce and a pinch of sass.
Who else radiated such things but a young Audrey Hepburn?
(The last 2 photos ^^ were NOT planned out, but they do have a similar sort of feel, do they not?)
Ah Kaitie. My dearest friend since high school. She showed up and we promptly took a bunch of photos with our bouquets (handmade by me and my mom's friend, Miss Monica!) and I wondered if I would ever be eating breakfast. It was around 11:15am. Dang food. I never seem to get to eat it.
Ah, there's the food. And I'm finally eating it. I was quite starving, actually. I felt like a starving princess. Good lawzy, I wish I could have my hair done up like that every day. Someone teach me how.
Our neighbors (6 boys! Oh golly wally!), who have been some of my best friends since we moved in at Orchard Street, came over with some wedding gifts. I remember the days of basketball after school, eating smores on the sidewalk, and me beating the tar out of them with a wiffle ball bat after they tried to give me birthday spankings for my 11th birthday (I got in trouble for that one, I think).
They're much taller than me now, but I think I still like them a good deal!
By the way, this ^^ is how I want to be remembered on my wedding day.
My parents truly made our wedding day spectacular. From the little details, to running errands when I needed a breather, to simply telling me how wonderful things were turning out, they make me smile.
My something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.
It literally fit all the descriptions- and not simply because it's the TARDIS.
#nerdybrideontheinside
Around 12:15pm, my brother Tim and I headed back to the Mill to set up sound tech. Stacey had already gone over to document the decor and test settings, so we had a nice little dance party to Cascada, Beyonce, and will.i.am while we worked.
Once the sound was set up, it was time to get ready and dressed up! It was around 12:45pm and close family members were coming in to set up, get corsages, and look around at the decor.
I handmade and decorated this cake. I'm dang proud of it.
But what was I saying about dressing up? Oh yes.
Pun intended.
Mamas and friends and married people and just about everyone told me to hold onto the moments, because it would be over before I knew what was happening.
Kaitie, aka the Maid of Honor, aka the Bosom Friend, aka the dumb blonde I drag around (I kid, I kid!) was simply amazing to me. She ran around, held things, hugged me, laughed at me, made sure things got done when they needed to, and most of all, she stood beside me on my special day. Thank you, so much for all you are friend :]
And of course, we cannot forget the rings! I spent probably close to 50 hours looking for the right wedding bands. It was a painful process that involved me texting Jacob back and forth asking 'what about this?' or 'do you want this color?' or 'is this too feminine?' or 'if you need to remove your ring and you can't, would you prefer a ring they can cut off, or a ring that is manly and involves the removal of your finger in emergency situations?'
Needless to say, the rings we picked out, in the end, were and still are perfect for us. Stacey did a great job capturing the pineapple-esque-ness of the moment, yes?
Then came the fun part. I had requested specifically that I get a zillion photos of me in my dress wearing my boxing gloves. It seemed only fitting and it was the perfect way to have fun, stay loose, and I repeat, have fun.
What do you do when you're 30 minutes out from being a Mrs.? Post about it on Facebook, of course!
Oh Mama. Here's to you working and planning so much of our wedding. To buying napkins and budgeting food, to getting dresses fitted to spray painting baskets, to researching rings to making mounds and mounds of glorious deliciousness.
You amaze me so much and so often. I miss you very much.
Well. With only 30ish minutes until the ceremony, things started to wind up. It was hard, because I like to run the show and well, I was stuck on the 4th floor while everyone was one the floor below me. People kept running up and down the stairs asking, 'is it okay if so-and-so is doing this?' and 'Jacob forgot his shoes, do you know where they are?' and so forth and so forth.
"Are you nervous?" My dear mother kept explaining to me that I needed to focus on what was happening because it would be a big blur if I didn't.
"My shoulders are being rubbed raw," I stated matter-of-factly. And they were, just a smidgen... so we quickly put KT tape under my straps.
Only I would wear KT tape at my wedding.
My mom's friend, Miss Monica, was a saint. Or a saint-ess. Or just a really awesome lady. Of course, she's always been that way. But I guess on your wedding day, when you just cannot possible do all things you need to do on your own, you realize even more than usual how lucky you are for talented, sweet, giving hearts to make things even more magical than you could imagine.
"You're not nervous?" My mother dear asked again.
"Nope! But I'm really happy!"
When it came to the wedding party, we intentionally chose to nix the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I had Kaitie and Jacob had his good friend/cousin Corey. My sister Lydia and Jacob's sister Charity were the flower girls while the youngest Clifton (and the cutest, too!), Melody, was the ring bearer. Yes, I know, ring bearing is traditionally a dude sort of thing, but when you have an adorable little blonde chica who melts the hearts of anyone who looks at her, how can you NOT change the rules? Plus, It was my lifelong dream to get dressed up and be a pretty little flower girl/et al. I figured I needed to make some golden, glittery dreams come true for someone else, anyways! :]
My dearest dad, or as I call him, Fauther, or Pops, or Obis, or Daddio, or Dear Old Dad, etc etc and a few more etc's. I'm so glad you and I both agreed to anything but sappy and to scrap the 'daddy's little girl' wedding cliche. Instead, we took it upon ourselves to embrace the 'daddy's little intellectual' or 'daddy's little hooligan'. I'd say we met both requirements with great success.
While I was upstairs thinking about how fun it was to be pretty and sassy in tulle, downstairs things were getting in place. I'm not sure, but I think Jacob was getting as excited as I was.
One of the craziest things about getting married? It's getting married. That's all I've got to say. It's a blood rushing, wild, compulsive, and obsessive blood sugar spike with a dropper full of adrenaline on the side. It's your life flashing before your eyes to the tune of Cannon in D. It's your life story wrapped up in colored napkins and twinkling lights. You're so far away from being with your best friend forever... and then, suddenly, you wake up. And it's happening.
It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside,
I'm not one of those who can easily hide
I don't have much money, but boy if I did, I'd buy a big house where we both could live
If I was a sculptor, but then again no, or a man who makes potions in a traveling show
I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you.
And you can tell everybody, this is your song,
it may be quite simple but, now that it's done
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words,
how wonderful life is now that you're in the world...
One of the most 'breath of fresh air' things about planning our wedding was knowing it was our wedding. So if I wanted to sing the special music at my own wedding with my best friends and sister, I was sure as heck going to! An harmonized, acapella version of Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus was just what I wanted... not only is the song beautiful, but I wanted a confession of what both Jacob and I wanted for the center of our marriage- the unbridled, uncontrolled passion for being in love with not just each other, but in love with trusting in an unseen God. Turning our eyes upon Jesus in faith and trust: that is what we wanted from day one and continually pray for every day.
We chose to write our vows in maybe the most unusual way possible... and about 4 days before the wedding. Sitting across from each other at my dining room table, Jacob and I typed away for 30 minutes and then BAM. There we go. It wasn't a matter of 'LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH BABY!', but we knew what we wanted. We knew what we wanted to say. The vows themselves were not long or fancy, but they were from our hearts... and riddled with Biblical, personal, athletic, and Psych related references to boot. I cannot post in their entirety, however:
"Jacob... I promise to seek whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely... in pursuit of Christ and always, in pursuit of your heart.
However empty my hands may be, I pray that I will always have something to give. No matter how full my heart may be, I pray that I will always love more.
Because the best things, the richest things, are the things that don't come easy- and you are the best thing that could be happening to me."
Because the best things, the richest things, are the things that don't come easy- and you are the best thing that could be happening to me."
"Bethany... I will love you with not just my words, but with my thoughts and actions. There will be no malice in our home. I will always put the highest priority on holding to this, even at the expense of my pride, convenience, or immediate desire.
And perhaps most importantly, I promise to cherish the little things. All too often it is all too easy to forget, to pass up, to ignore the little things in life- the things that matter. Bethany, I promise to always cherish those things with all my heart."
I remember being terrified that I would drop the ring before I got it on Jacob's finger. Whew! Lucky that didn't happen, right? And the funny thing was this: I was so tense, so nervous... but not afraid in the least.
And there we were. Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Clifton. I've never been so happy to hear the words 'kiss the bride' in my entire existence.
And we kissed. A long time. Our bad. Like, to the point I started thinking that we had better cut it out ;) But what the heck. I was a Clifton. A good and proper Clifton.
And just like that, everything in your whole life changes. Your name, your title, your world... your existence and being is alight with something new and brilliant. You can't place it. It's familiar, it's foreign. It's amazing and alive. It must be love.
There's only time to live our lives
And you'll be the one who's by my side
And I can promise you then
You'll always be my best friend
Till the end when we part
I will give you my heart
And I'll promise to love you with all that it is
And I'll promise to be there whenever you need me
Because you'll always be my best friend..
And you'll be the one who's by my side
And I can promise you then
You'll always be my best friend
Till the end when we part
I will give you my heart
And I'll promise to love you with all that it is
And I'll promise to be there whenever you need me
Because you'll always be my best friend..
(Pt. II Coming Soon!)
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